Taking Responsibility For Our Feelings

Taking ResponsibilityWho is Responsible for Our Feelings?

Let me tell you about a difficult lesson that took me a long time to learn. I sometimes get overwhelmed in large social situations. One way I used to deal with this was to lean on whoever I was dating to help me by either spending one-on-one time with me or leaving with me.…

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The Life Spark

spark of life1Sometimes clients come to me for therapy saying that they are bored. They might say that they are depressed, anxious, dissatisfied or despairing. They see these as problems that need to be solved. I see them a little differently; I see hope. When someone feels boredom, it lets me know that they can tell when things are not working, that there is some vitality missing.…

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The Practice of Mindfulness

Between the stimulus and the response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Viktor Frankl

Possibilities

Think of the possibilities if you were able to create just a little space between something happening and responding to it. What if you could act from your deepest sense of integrity and not only from old habits, conditioning and socialization?…

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Don’t Choke! – Dealing with Fear (part 1 of 2)

(Note: Fear is a big topic and this two-part article is only addressing one aspect of it. More will come.)

Our Relationship with Fear

Having a good relationship with our fear is one of the most important things we can do because it is an elemental part of being human just like joy or sadness. We can receive useful information from our fear response (like “Watch out for that cliff edge!”), but then it so often gets if the way of what we want to do (for example, making us tense on the cliff edge so we are less agile).

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The Power of Discomfort

Comfort is great. We all want and need it. What’s not to like? But we do not always sing the praises of being uncomfortable and that is a shame because discomfort can be the greatest thing in the world. It is often at those places in our lives where we are uncomfortable that we are pushing the boundaries of our life and initiating growth.…

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The Gift of Symptoms

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” —Rumi

Most of us have problems or issues. We might have mental health symptoms or even a disorder or a mental illness. Nevertheless, I maintain that the things that we usually call our problems might be properly called gifts. How can something like anxiety, depression, shame, addiction or explosive anger be seen as something positive?…

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Touching the Void – Working with Difficult Feelings

Difficult Feelings

Most of us tend to shrink away from feelings such as fear, dread, anxiety, depression, shame, despair, guilt, sadness and anger. And why not? These are hard feelings. If we ignore then or distract ourselves, new feelings seem to take the place of these “hard”ones and we can move on. Who wants to be morbid and sad?…

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